March 29, 2017
I thought it was time for an update on my latest MS relapse.
This last relapse came in the form of optic neuritis in my left eye; I was
having pain, the color was going in that eye, vision was blurry, my pupil was
sluggish and was slower to react to light. Good news is that I believe all of
this has resolved thanks to the course of steroids the doctors prescribed. The
bad news is steroids are bad stuff, they literally make you feel crazy and at a
time when you should be resting, they make you feel like the Energizer Bunny
and you just cannot stop! I did not get more than 3 hours sleep every night I
was on the steroids and last weekend while still taking them I worked out in
the yard all weekend catching up on things that I had let slide for months
because the MS has been hitting me so hard. Fast forward, to the last, couple
of days and I have been off steroids and I am now experiencing “steroid crash”!
OMG, everything is hurting and I feel like I have the energy
of a newborn baby! Last night I told my husband to please not even talk to me I
just didn’t have the energy to think about what he was saying or listen. Five
top problems of the crash; irritability might as well called it downright
crankiness. I tell myself it is better
to isolate myself in my misery, than it is to risk hurting the ones I love
because I am in such a bad mood and so overly sensitive to sounds, smells and
noises. Weak and lethargic not only am I tired from not having the steroids, I could
care less as well. It is a strange emotional place to be, even when I must
perform a task, I am just doing it to get it out of the way so you can go back
to laying down and doing nothing but there is so much going on right now and so
much I need to take care of. Sleeping more this is a no-brainier; my body needs
to sleep to catch up on all the sleep I lost being totally wired from the steroids.
I am relieved to finally be sleeping again. I am amazed at the times I fall
asleep last night in bed 4 pm. Seems when I lay down with the intent on
sleeping, nothing happens, but when I think I'm just going to lay down to rest,
before I know it, I'm asleep. Dehydration, I cannot get enough to drink I am
constantly thirsty and my lips and mouth are dry and my lips are red and puffy.
Last but by far least, Depression/irrational thoughts run together in a very
strange way. The dark feelings of dread
and sadness can hit and then hang around for what seems forever. I know and I keep telling myself “this is
just temporary' 'things aren't that bad' 'I'll handle what comes with my health
as it comes' 'there is a reason I'm feeling so down - the steroids!'
Things will be better in a few weeks, until then I ask for
patience and understanding. I have to keep going I have too much to do and
accomplish to slow down to much.